Our world is an incredible place, comprising so many different nationalities, races, cultures, and beliefs. And, at this time of year, there are so many different types of holiday being celebrated.
In the UK, US and Europe, it’s the season when a massive number of people wish each other “Happy Christmas.”
I wish you a Happy Christmas too, if Christmas is the holiday you’re celebrating right now.
But please don’t forget, between November until January, a lot of other holidays are celebrated too: Diwali, Thanksgiving, the Winter Solstice, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Boxing Day, New Year’s Day, Ōmisoka, and Festivus… the list is very long.
That’s why, because we’re a world of so many diverse cultures and beliefs and we can’t always be sure which tradition a person might be celebrating (or not celebrating at all), “Happy Holidays” is the greeting I try to use most often. It’s a much more inclusive way of wishing somebody well and showing respect for whatever tradition they observe. As the comedian and actress Whoopi Goldberg says, “’Happy Holidays’ allows everybody to be included… when you’re walking past somebody, you don’t know what their religious beliefs are or whether they have them. If they have religious beliefs and you can’t tell what they are, say ‘Happy Holidays’”.
Personally, I think that’s excellent advice.
But, whatever holiday you may or may not be observing at this time of year, there’s something I believe everyone should observe on every day of the year, just for a few moments in the morning or the evening, or before falling asleep at night. It’s the observance of gratitude.
The importance of gratitude
Gratitude is something we often take for granted but, according to the teachings of Ayurveda, it’s essential to our health, happiness, and well-being. It can change everything in a heartbeat and move us instantly from a state of thinking “I don’t have enough” to appreciating “I have all that I need to thrive at this moment.”
Gratitude reminds us that every minute of life is a gift, and the more gratitude you express for what you already have, the more you will find to be grateful for. Gratitude is the universe’s way of grounding us and continuously rewarding us, all at the same time.
How often do you feel gratitude for what you have?
When you purposefully stop to think about it, we all have at least one or two things to be grateful for every day. Hopefully, you’ve got dozens if not hundreds of things to feel grateful for right now, and they are usually the gifts in life we overlook because we’re too busy to acknowledge them: our family, our friends, our food, the place we live, the work we do. Even turning the tap so we can drink fresh water when we’re thirsty is something to be grateful for.
2020 has been a monumentally difficult year for most people. Over the past twelve months, the world has been turned upside-down. It’s easy and understandable to look back on this year and be very glad that it’s coming to an end, but please try to remember that a lot to be grateful for has happened this year too. For example, 2020 has reminded us what’s most important in life, the simple pleasures and necessities, the fact that we are all part of a global community experiencing this planet together. Even if we’ve spent most of this year – or even if we’re spending these holidays – physically isolated in our bubble so that we can keep ourselves and each other safe, we’re arguably closer together in our humanity than we’ve ever been before. We’ve adapted, we’ve overcome challenges. Some of us have experienced more heartbreak and hardship than others. But we have all somehow found a way to keep going, or else we wouldn’t be here right now. And, during this 2020 journey, I’m sure we’ve all found moments to smile and be thankful, even if we can’t remember them at the moment. Unfortunately, it’s human nature to find it easier to remember the bad than it is to remember the good. That’s one of the many reasons why focusing on gratitude every day is so important.
The benefits of gratitude
Gratitude changes our way of thinking and moves us away from unhealthy emotions.
Gratitude is a powerful form of healing: in Ayurveda, our mind, body, spiritual, and emotional states are inextricably linked. When we feel gratitude and contentment, our energies flow naturally and help to keep our physiologic states in balance. When we feel negative emotions like frustration, anger, or ‘want’, these are ‘hot’ elements that increase pitta and can manifest inflammation and illness in the body. Reframing our thinking and feeling gratitude for what we already have keeps our doshas balanced and is valuable in helping to heal everything from mental stress to physical disorders to even reducing the effects of ageing.
Gratitude balances our vata dosha, which helps keep us focused, calms our emotions, and enhances our energy. When our vata is imbalanced, we feel depleted, as if our mind and body are ‘running on empty’. When we experience a state of gratitude, our vata is full and abundant.
Gratitude enriches our soul and spirit: everything is impermanent. That’s why pursuing what we don’t truly need, like a magpie distracted by bright shiny objects, is ultimately pointless. It prevents us from living consciously and wholeheartedly in the present and blocks us from connecting to a greater presence or our higher self. Nothing is forever – our life, our health, our possessions, the people we love, our successes and failures – and gratitude reminds us to enjoy what we have while we can. It helps us to stay fully present, which in turn nurtures our spiritual growth.
Gratitude attracts more: you’ve probably heard the expressions, “Like attracts like ”and “Birds of a feather flock together.” In other words, the emotions, attitudes and behaviours we send out into the universe are ultimately what comes back to us. When you follow a healthy lifestyle, like Ayurveda, your mind and body respond by staying healthy too. When you approach a task you don’t want to do with a ‘can do’ attitude, the task will usually seem more manageable, and you’ll probably accomplish it faster and more effectively. Have you ever noticed how, if you’re ever in a bad mood, the people around you will seem to be in a bad mood too? Or if you complain about something – your work, your relationships, your finances -the person you’re with will start complaining as well, and before you know it you’ve made yourselves feel ten times worse because “misery loves company”?
It’s the same with gratitude. The more you are grateful for and the more positives you look for in any given situation, the more you’ll realise how much you’ve got to be grateful for, and the more opportunities to be grateful will present themselves to you.
The practise of Santosha
We often fill our head with negative thoughts. We tell ourselves “I can’t do it”, “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t have this” or “I don’t have that.”
On the eightfold path of yoga, which I’ve talked about in previous blogs, there’s an invaluable practice of acceptance and contentment called ‘santosha’.
Santosha reminds us, “I have enough.” It guides us to see the goodness in ourselves and others and asks us to be at peace with whatever is available to us at this moment.
When we see that we already have enough and stop chasing for more of what we think will make us happier, we find peace, calmness, and clarity. We become part of the flow of life, and we enjoy the security of knowing that the universe will always provide what we truly need at the perfect moment we need it.
When we resist the flow, we build up anxiety and frustration. Like trying to force a square peg into a round hole, we’re pursuing an ideal that can’t be. Maybe it will be, at another time, further ahead of us. But, right now, resisting what is and not appreciating “I already have enough” is what makes us unhappy. In excess, it can even make us severely ill.
When you reflect on santosha and being truly content in the present moment, you’ll find many more things to be grateful for.
How to practice gratitude
Make gratitude a habit
It takes at least 21 days to change a habit or start a new one. In fact, a recent study conducted at the University College London has shown that it takes an average 66 days for a habit to become ingrained. That’s why so many ‘new year’s resolutions’ fail at the first hurdle because we don’t give them enough time to become a natural part of who we are.
With that in mind, try making gratitude a regular habit for at least a month. Hopefully, by the end of that month, you’ll already begin to see and feel its benefits and gratitude will have become part of your daily consciousness, like eating and breathing. If not, continue for another month. And then, if necessary, a third. By the end of three months, I guarantee you will have begun to feel transformed.
How do you make gratitude a habit?
Everyone has at least three things to be grateful for on any given day. When you wake up, list them. Say them out loud, write them down, share them with your loved ones, contemplate them during meditation, discuss them with the people you meet throughout the day. Before you go to sleep, think back on at least three things that happened during the day that you feel grateful for. Say them out loud, write them down, post them on your social media, tell the people involved. Some of those ‘things to be grateful for’ will change from day to day and season to season, and some will be constant. That’s when you’ll realise your list of things to be grateful for has suddenly grown a lot longer – three things become five, become ten, become twenty.
Be grateful in the moment: when we’re upset or under pressure, it’s hard to remind ourselves to be grateful. But if we were able to stand back from that moment and watch it like a neutral observer, you’d probably find more to appreciate and feel grateful for than you think.
A good way of learning to feel grateful in the moment is by feeling grateful for your meals. Before each meal, take a moment to honour everyone and everything that made this food possible: the sun and rain that grew the crops and vegetables, the farmer who nurtured and harvested them, the animals who gave up their meat and milk to nourish and sustain you, the cook whose love, care, and knowledge delivered the meal onto your plate.
Acknowledge the simple things you have, like a bed to sleep on, a friend to talk to. During these holidays, when so many of us will remain apart from the people we love because of COVID-19, be grateful they are safe instead of feeling upset they’re not here. That doesn’t mean you won’t miss them, but that you’re grateful they are well and remain apart of your life. Next year, hopefully, you’ll all be together again.
I’m grateful to you
The fact you’re reading my words and making the time I spend writing these thoughts down is something I’m continually grateful for. Over the past twelve months, your support – and the support of my clients, friends, colleagues and family – has made this year a lot happier and more fulfilling than it would have been without you. I hope you might feel that way too, and that you find what I share with you to be helpful, or that it will be helpful at some time in the future. At the very least, I hope I’ve given you an occasional new idea to think about. This is my last blog of 2020, and in January 2021 I’m looking forward to talking with you again. Thank you for being here, and please remember that I am always here for you too. Ayurveda is often called “the science of life” and “the Mother of All Healing” and in the same way as it connects every part of our mind and body to ourselves, each other and the universe, it connects you and me together too. I sincerely believe that.
Happy Holidays, stay safe and well and see you again very soon.
To your enduring health and happiness in Ayurveda.
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